belatedly, friday's culinary successes

a snack and a wonderful excuse for a meal......

bee found this ear of popcorn that we got at the farm last fall. we got maybe three ears, who knows where the others are. we never popped them last year. we were supposed to let it dry for a few months, so by the time those months had gone by, it was long forgotten. but leave it to an almost four year old to find it and demand to pop it NOW.

i thought i remembered something about popping corn in the microwave, right on the cob. i'm scared of popping corn on the stove (that's D's department), and taking all the kernels off, forget it!

so, we cut a paper bag and popped it in. and pop it did! i got nervous and stopped it before it was done. i didn't want it to burn but there was still about one third of the kernels left on. still and success.

a little melted butter and salt. bee ate almost every bite.

 and friday's dinner....

cheese plate.
brie, mozzarella balls, some weird/delicious round cheese with two kinds in it, pecan crackers, cornichons, kalamata olives and tiny grapes. 

does it get better than that?

baby erectus

he stands! he walks (briefly, and drunkenly)!

*ignore the dust bunnies on the carpet. they are only there because we were cleaning out under the couch. i keep an impeccable house, really i do!*

big brother & little brother

dear friends of our just welcomed a new baby boy to their family. another future tractor-loving farm boy to join his big brother.

i whipped up these matching t-shirts for the brothers. i bought the big t-shirt and dyed the onesie yellow. i made the tractors with a fabric ink pad, my fingerprint and a fabric pen. super easy!

letting go

at the start of the summer i felt like i was looking down a long dark tunnel. i had gotten into a nice rhythm with the kids, mostly revolving around bee's school schedule. two mornings at school, one morning play date, grocery shopping another day and ballet on friday. the week was shaped by all these things that would be ending or at least losing their structure. i wondered how i would make it through three months with no real plan. i like a plan.

but we joined the y, and there were those weeks of swimming lessons. we saw friends, we went to maine and planned henny's birthday. the time actually flew and many, many days i felt like there wasn't enough time in the day. it was a good feeling. 

somewhere along the way i lost the feeling of wishing that i had bee's school as part of our week. in fact, i started dreading the start of school. i know, i'm crazy. we were having so much fun and having so many quality experiences. learning to swim, berry picking, bike riding, lazy walks through the neighborhood, gardening and cooking up all the local goodness. time flew.

i thought that bee's school started on the 3rd and i have been quietly dreading next week. then today i got a bunch of stuff in the mail from the school and it turns out that the whole school starts on the 3rd, but the preschool doesn't start until the next week. i can't tell you how relieved and excited i was to have that extra week. i wouldn't mind if they sent a letter saying it would be another month. 

i am loving spending time with my almost 4 year old. she is so fun. i hardly ever feel like i need a break from her, beside my 30 minutes to make dinner. i would be happy to spend every day with her. sometimes i even fantasize about sleeping with her at night. i feel like i'm really in love with her right now. this age, it's magical.

but it's not just that that has me wishing school would be delayed. it's the same feeling that i had last year when bee started nursery school. i thought it would go away, but i'm starting to realize that this feeling with morph and change, but always be there, as long as i'm a mother. forever. it's that separation. knowing that bee will have experiences that i won't be part of. she will have successes that i won't know the gravity of. she will experience pain that i won't be able to soothe. that's the thing that kills me.

today at the grocery store there was this little boy, maybe 5, who was being mean to bee. i don't know what his problem was but every time we passed him he would make a really mean face right at bee and say something mean like "go home!" or "get out!" she looked flat-out stunned by this random mean boy. i could tell that it bothered her so i asked he what was up with that kid. we briefly chatted about how he must be grumpy but that that wasn't nice at all. after the second time bee seemed sort of hurt. i tried to brush it off by saying that he was bring mean. bee suddenly puffed up with bravery and said, "i'm going to go throw him in the garbage!" now, i know this is not nice, but come on! this kid was being so mean! i was proud that she wasn't just taking it. 

the thing that got me thinking was that if this sort of thing happens at school, who will she turn to. these sort of mild acts of meanness would probably go unnoticed by a teacher and it may not be memorable enough to bring up at the dinner table. i just hate to think that i wouldn't be there to quickly process it and help her move on. 

i know bee will be fine. she is so capable and so much bigger that the almost 3 year old that i kissed good-bye at nursery school last year. maybe it's just me who has some more developing to do.

saucy!

the tomatoes have been piling up here. between the farm's beautiful heirlooms and our 100% seconds crop, the window sill has runneth over. all week i hoped that we would have a chance to make sauce this weekend. all the stars lined up and my dream came true. there is a lesson here, aim low, and dreams come true!

we busted out the squeeze-o, which is an old-as-dirt machine used for seperating the "poop" from the good stuff. it belonged to D's parents and was used to make many batches of sauce back in the day. it is a treasure. the squeeze-o attaches to the counter and as you crank whole (or crudely chopped) tomatoes through, it shoots the skins, seeds and random crap through one end, and the sweet stuff through the other end.

our recipe for sauce was roughly this:

about 20 tomatoes of all shapes, colors and sizes- seeded, skinned and crushed

one onion diced

6 cloves of garlic, crushed

3 cups of basil, purred

3 sprigs of rosemary, chopped

8 sprigs of thyme leaves

1 cup of parsley, chopped

1 cup of celery, chopped

1 leek, chopped

a lot of olive oil

a few pinches of sugar

a bunch of shakes of salt

we basically sauteed everything but the tomatoes, then added the tomatoes, plus the salt and sugar. we let the whole thing cook for a long time.
a very long time. maybe 4 hours. this is what it looked like at the end:

it reduced by so much, about 2 inches down the pan. we added a bit of paste at the end, just whatever we had left in the fridge. even without the paste it was thick as hell. so satisfying! the sauce tastes awesome and i am so excited to do it again, maybe with a different variation. we froze this batch, but i would like to can the next. 

just another one of those "darndest things"

me: mindlessly singing "the farmer in the dell", mostly to quiet a nap-ready henny. at the end (the best part according to me), singing, "the cheese stands alone...."

bee: "i feel bad for the cheese."

love. her.

sandbox planting

months ago bee planted some birdseed in her sandbox. miraculously, it sprouted!

she carefully played out of the way of the seedlings, watered them with sandbox toys and water from the hose or clouds and kept us up to date on their progress.

a few weeks ago they grew huge buds and we watched them closely, several times a day until they finally bloomed. the first of them bloomed last weekend, and now they are all shining bright.

bee has her own garden this year but this little bouquet is almost better than her carrots, cabbages, melons and broccoli. i guess it's the organic nature of the project. it was completely planned and executed by bee and the results are just fantastic.

princess skirt

for bee's upcoming birthday i promised to make her a new skirt, a "princess skirt" as she calls it. she is planning a fairy ball for her and her friends, in honor of her birthday, and she just really needed a new outfit. although the party is a fairy ball, bee has one general category of princess-ballerina-fairy which encompasses anything glittery, girly, shiny and silky.

yesterday we went to the fabric store. after much debate about what colors and levels of glitter were "princessy", bee settled on this white silky fabric, with tiny rhinestones in it. i convinced her to get some tulle too, it wasn't a hard sell. as a bonus i suggested some silk flowers from the summer clearance, which was again met with little resistance.

this morning we worked together to make the skirt. it has the silk flowers "swimming" in the bottom of two layers of the silky sparkly, plus a few layers of tulle to make it more "poofy". i used the beloved FOE for the waist.

i wish it was a bit more ruffled, but i still love it. bee loves it too. 

can you tell?

i feel like taking a minute to say how surprising all this girly stuff is to me. from the moment bee was born we made a huge effort to keep everything very gender neutral for her. i wanted her to have the chance to explore the world without any preconceived ideas about what she should or shouldn't play with or like, just because she was a girl. she hardly wore pink. we only chose toys that were very neutral, mostly just art supplies and pretend things. she has always had more trucks than dolls. but somehow, maybe around 2, she just gravitated toward the "girly" side. she still loves digging in the dirt, playing trains for hours and building with blocks. but what she really loves is dancing while dressing up like a ballerina, wearing dresses and skirts every day and shoe shopping. i guess it is more about what she want to wear, the way she wants to look. she still loves to play all sorts of things, but the fashion, it is very specific, specifically girly.

i feel like i sound like what i was rebelling against, classifying things as girly, or not. the point is that despite any sort of neutrality on our part, or ignoring the cultural ideas of gender, bee has managed to pick it up on her own. she knows what our society thinks is for girls, even though we continue to remind her that there is really no such thing. no matter what we say, bee knows what she likes and it is pink, glitter, toe shoes, crowns, make up and fancy dresses. she is who she is, completely on her own. i guess that is what we were hoping for from day one. i just didn't think that this is where she would find herself. now that we are here it doesn't bother me one bit. that fact would surprise the me of 4 years ago.

more yearbook fun

now everyone is getting in on the fun. the endless fun. turns out that the website has these cool controls so you can straighten out your face and not have that weird double-chin thing that i had on all of my pictures. i don't know how i missed it, but it's so cool and the pictures come out so much better.

D through time:

bee if she were born in a different era:
and for the sheer hilarity of it, henny:

how about that mullet??!

and an afro!!

me, strangely, throughout time

now this is just plain silly. i tried out this site, where you can upload a picture of yourself and see what you would have looked like in your yearbook though five decades.

way fun.

unfortunately, sometimes your face doesn't quite match up to theirs and the result is strange.

or freakishly strange.
and how about an afro? never thought of that style. i guess this would have been me in 1977!
and the me of 1996 actually looks the way i did then, which is a tad scary. also here i look like becky from roseanne, with a double chin.
and btw, although i did once look similar to the above, i never owner a denim shirt. i did have overall shorts though. the shame.

just like the whistle stop cafe

tonight's dinner was the bomb, and i'm not afraid to admit it.

we had just returned from the farm with the largest share in the history of time. i was feeling very grateful and very overwhelmed at once. i mean, what are you supposed to do with all this food. i'll spare anyone who actually reads this the details, but let's just say it took 2 people to carry it all in from the car. and even then it was a semi-struggle.

on to dinner....

as i was picking our herbs in the field i brainstormed dinner and decided it would have to revolve around fried green tomatoes. we got 6 beautiful heirloom tomatoes today and one we chose just happened to be green. big and green.

so for dinner tonight we had:

fried green tomatoes

grilled tofu steaks

sliced cucumbers on top 

corn on the side

i hate how the corn totally ruins the look of this dinner, but we got corn at the farm and everyone knows that corn is no good after day 1.

(bonus: this meal was enjoyed by the whole family. bee ate what she likes, which was mostly all of it and henny ate what he is allowed to eat, and loved it. horray for families all eating the same thing!)

did i mention that we ate the biggest cantaloupe ever, before dinner?

well, we did.

so, why am i dreaming of soft serve right now?

harvest of the day

partially based on neglect and partially based on the hight of the season, today was a bountiful harvest in the garden. i felt like we were picking up our farm share when bee and i headed down to the gardens this morning.

as far as i can remember we picked:

a bunch of basil

a bunch of mint

6 tomatoes

4 summer squash

3 zucchini

2 cucumbers 

a bunch of ready and not-so-ready carrots

how could anyone not think this is the best time of the year?

what crazy people do when their kid turns 1.

when bee turned one, we had a BIG party. we were thrilled and we wanted to celebrate with everyone we knew. we both have large families and we didn't make any cuts. it was a wonderful party, many loved ones, great weather and much parental pride. as soon as henny was born i started to have anxiety about his birthday party. i thought that in hindsight bee's party was maybe (probably) over the top. i know that not everyone is psyched to come to a one-year-old's party and i dreaded doing it again. i thought we would just do something different, but then the nagging guilt that i live with every day wouldn't quit. it said, "if you do it for one...." and "what will he think someday when he knows what bee's party was like?"

so we went for it. we invited everyone we know. and now that we have bee and she has opened our lives up to so many new people, we know a lot more people. since bee was born we have made so many new and dear friends and gotten to know our neighbors so much more. after all the family, friends and neighbors were added up we were inviting 122 people. yikes!

we said "to hell with it" and just went for it. it really was just a good excuse for a party. we requested that people not bring gifts, which was both based on our wishes and to create a better atmosphere at the party. luckily everyone respected our wishes. we thought we would just have a really great party, where we also sing "happy birthday" to henny.

for food we had a picnic theme. we had some deli platters from a local farm market, egg salad, fruit salad, tossed salad, pasta salad and an assortment of desserts. we served the food one ice, in our canoe. it was a huge "wow" factor, looked awesome and helped keep the food fresh for a very long time. 

of course henny was as sweet as ever to the 80 people who ended up coming. he cuddled with friends and family who he doesn't normally see and showed off some of his skills. he loved getting sung to and enjoying his cake. he even shared with his mama.

i feel like i am still on a post-party high. it was such a great time. the kids were the best part. there were about a dozen kids all under 7 and they played fantastically. many of the kids had never met each other, but it didn't matter. they were chasing away wolves, digging worms, dressing up, chasing hot air balloons and rolling down the hill. 

i know it sounds a bit over-thought but i really felt like this party personified what i think our life is like. for people who didn't know us that well, or hadn't been to our home before, the party gave them a clear picture of what we strive to create for our family. it was beautiful, fun, full of loving people and beautiful children. this is exactly where we want to be right now and it felt so good to share it with everyone.

happy birthday henny!

now it's on to planning bee's fourth which is coming up in a few weeks!

it's official!

henny is now one! he already seems bigger! we celebrated last night with the grandparents and on saturday we will celebrate with every person that we know! 

speaking of, off to make lists!

one year.

this was me a year ago........

i look serious, but wouldn't you? i was seriously huge. but i felt great. i really did. i felt like napping every day (and did) but still had plenty of energy. i remember that i was in high nesting mode. i was 9 days overdue and i knew that it could be any minute. any minute i would be ripped out of my everyday life, and nothing would ever be the same. it was all so much different the second time around. instead of getting the room set up and walking away to nap for weeks, i was busy. busy with entertaining an almost 3 year old, doing laundry and cleaning. i couldn't stand the thought of bee not having all her laundry clean, or coming home from the hospital to a messy house. i long for those days, just for the efficiency. 

as the days passed on and on i was concentrating on my body. every little gas bubble, tickle and twinge was met with great attention. but it wouldn't be until the night on august 5th, one year ago today, that anything worth note happened. and that wasn't even the real deal. 

D and i were relaxing, probably eating an ice cream from down the street, and watching rock of love. as bret michaels looked for love, i felt my first contractions. i was giddy. i was timing them, although there wasn't much to them. i so wanted it to be the real deal. eventually i realized that these contractions weren't really going anywhere (they certainly weren't like when bee was born in a fast fury of mind -blowing contractions and involuntary pushes) and i went to bed. throughout the night i woke up a couple of times, thinking maybe i was having a contraction but nothing serious.

at about 5am i woke up with a contraction and this is when they got serious. within an hour or so i knew that this was real. they were steady and painful, just right. after a bit i woke D up and told him what millions women have told their partners throughout time, "honey, i think it's time". 

soon enough bee was awake and i gave her the sweetest speech i have since and maybe ever will. the words came out of me perfectly and her excitement matched ours. "sweetie, my belly is giving me that special feeling that tells me the baby is ready to be born."

D headed off to bring bee to my parent's house and i was alone. this was a strange feeling but i just went about my business. i was afraid of the contractions dying off so i stayed on my feet the whole time, often squatting. i did the dishes, straightened up and packed up. 

when i called the doctor's office and they told me to come in right then i was disappointed. with bee i had labored at home until the last minute and i hoped to do the same this time. sitting in a doctor's office wasn't in my plan. but off we went and there we sat. i could see all the other pregnant ladies looking at me, with my deep breathing, and seeing their future, maybe not so happily. 

when i was finally checked out by the doctor she said i was 6 or 7 centimeters. great news! she said to head over to the hospital. still the contractions weren't so bad. i could talk in between. we even parked in the lot and walked in to the hospital, we even took the stairs! i was desperate to move things along, being so past due and all.

little did i know..... 

when we got into the birthing center they hooked me up to some machines, which i was not pleased about. the only thing i was semi-excited about was that i looked at the clock and saw that the view would be on in a few minutes, at 11. that is a guilty pleasure of mine, so i figured i'd make the best of it. but before i could even figure out how to watch the tv, my water broke.

from there it was zero to 60, fast. my contractions were INTENSE and one on top of the next. i waddled into the tub to get some supposed relief. after literally one minute in the tub, i said, "that's it. i have to push!" i would have given birth in the tub, but the nurses, and D, pulled me out and somehow i made it to the bed. 

the pushing was amazing, just like with bee. my body just took over and did it's thing. i became this amazing, strong and powerful woman. the one difference between the two was that with bee i was able to guide the process, pushing on my schedule. with henny, the doctor just kept yelling at me to keep pushing, even between contractions. later i learned that there was some question about the cord's location and i think the doctor wanted to get him out as soon as possible. luckily, i was up for the challenge.

at 11:49am on august 6th, 2007, our second little angel arrived. he was long and strong, healthy and cute as can be.
it's so hard to believe a year has gone by. it is the greatest and truest cliche that the time flies with the second child. i don't even feel like we blinked.
and now we have this silly, sweet and smiley boy. he loves his family, especially his sister, with unwavering strength. he also loves to blow on whistles and harmonicas!
he is funny! he loves to do something silly and then look at all of us for a reaction. this is especially the case at meal times, when he has our undivided attention. 

henny is more than we could have asked for. i am so proud of him and so joyful about his future. i can't believe that we are already here, at one year, but i also can't wait for what's to come.

not about children, cooking or crafting. aaahhhh.

today i snuck in the few minutes needed to finish the current david sedaris book. heaven. 

i have been loving him for years and years, have devoured every book and even had the chance to see him read live a few years ago. so, when the new book came out i jumped onto the library catalog and requested it. weeks went by and as the book held steady on the best seller list, i waited. until a few weeks ago when i got the email. it was in! i haven't been able to read as much as i had hoped to lately, but every time i found the time, what a treat! this book was hilarious. i would laugh so hard that i couldn't see the pages any more and i had to literally take deep breaths to calm down and be able to continue. i don't think bee had ever seen me laugh so hard in all her life. 

so now that my reading is done i have moved on to searching for anything i can find that is sedaris-related. (amy included! love her.) this is what i do when i finish a book. i simply can't accept that it is over. i try to prolong the experience.

here are some goodies that i have enjoyed.

craft round-up

things have been busy here. it's almost henny's big day and we are in high-prep mode. there is painting of the house, mowing, list-making and of course birthday crafting! earlier this week i spent the night with my good friend learning how to and actually making a doll for henny. it will be his birthday gift.

we're calling him "star boy". nobody ever discussed the name, it seemed like every one just knew that that would be this doll's name. when bee was small the same friend who helped me make henny's doll made one for bee. it has become a well loved treasure. she is, and has almost always been, named "star baby". bee thought that the little flowers on the fabric looked like stars, so there you go. when we went shopping for the fabric for henny's doll, bee insisted that we find some with stars. 

i love how it came out. the head has what you could call character, but it's cute. i just hope it becomes as well loved as star baby. 

here is a shot of the two babies having a snuggle. yes, this is what i do when the kids go to bed.

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today i finally got around to trying out dyeing some clothes. i had bought all this stuff in a fit of creative energy a while back, but finding the time is always the hard part. this was my first time using something other than RIT and it went ok. it was really hard to mix colors and there were a few fluky things, like a few drips of red making their way into the blue (hello purple!). bee and i tried a couple tie-dyes but we totally didn't leave the dye on long enough. all and all it was good and now we have some jazzed up onesies and a lot of old stains covered up, plus some new things for future gifts.

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finally tonight i finished up our celebration banner. the project started off with a snag (literally!). luckily my on-site mechanic came to the rescue. how lucky am i?

but, guess what?! it was all my fault for just setting something funky on one of the dials. i have so much to learn!
so, i finished the banner and now we are one step closer to celebrating henny's big day.