one year.

this was me a year ago........

i look serious, but wouldn't you? i was seriously huge. but i felt great. i really did. i felt like napping every day (and did) but still had plenty of energy. i remember that i was in high nesting mode. i was 9 days overdue and i knew that it could be any minute. any minute i would be ripped out of my everyday life, and nothing would ever be the same. it was all so much different the second time around. instead of getting the room set up and walking away to nap for weeks, i was busy. busy with entertaining an almost 3 year old, doing laundry and cleaning. i couldn't stand the thought of bee not having all her laundry clean, or coming home from the hospital to a messy house. i long for those days, just for the efficiency. 

as the days passed on and on i was concentrating on my body. every little gas bubble, tickle and twinge was met with great attention. but it wouldn't be until the night on august 5th, one year ago today, that anything worth note happened. and that wasn't even the real deal. 

D and i were relaxing, probably eating an ice cream from down the street, and watching rock of love. as bret michaels looked for love, i felt my first contractions. i was giddy. i was timing them, although there wasn't much to them. i so wanted it to be the real deal. eventually i realized that these contractions weren't really going anywhere (they certainly weren't like when bee was born in a fast fury of mind -blowing contractions and involuntary pushes) and i went to bed. throughout the night i woke up a couple of times, thinking maybe i was having a contraction but nothing serious.

at about 5am i woke up with a contraction and this is when they got serious. within an hour or so i knew that this was real. they were steady and painful, just right. after a bit i woke D up and told him what millions women have told their partners throughout time, "honey, i think it's time". 

soon enough bee was awake and i gave her the sweetest speech i have since and maybe ever will. the words came out of me perfectly and her excitement matched ours. "sweetie, my belly is giving me that special feeling that tells me the baby is ready to be born."

D headed off to bring bee to my parent's house and i was alone. this was a strange feeling but i just went about my business. i was afraid of the contractions dying off so i stayed on my feet the whole time, often squatting. i did the dishes, straightened up and packed up. 

when i called the doctor's office and they told me to come in right then i was disappointed. with bee i had labored at home until the last minute and i hoped to do the same this time. sitting in a doctor's office wasn't in my plan. but off we went and there we sat. i could see all the other pregnant ladies looking at me, with my deep breathing, and seeing their future, maybe not so happily. 

when i was finally checked out by the doctor she said i was 6 or 7 centimeters. great news! she said to head over to the hospital. still the contractions weren't so bad. i could talk in between. we even parked in the lot and walked in to the hospital, we even took the stairs! i was desperate to move things along, being so past due and all.

little did i know..... 

when we got into the birthing center they hooked me up to some machines, which i was not pleased about. the only thing i was semi-excited about was that i looked at the clock and saw that the view would be on in a few minutes, at 11. that is a guilty pleasure of mine, so i figured i'd make the best of it. but before i could even figure out how to watch the tv, my water broke.

from there it was zero to 60, fast. my contractions were INTENSE and one on top of the next. i waddled into the tub to get some supposed relief. after literally one minute in the tub, i said, "that's it. i have to push!" i would have given birth in the tub, but the nurses, and D, pulled me out and somehow i made it to the bed. 

the pushing was amazing, just like with bee. my body just took over and did it's thing. i became this amazing, strong and powerful woman. the one difference between the two was that with bee i was able to guide the process, pushing on my schedule. with henny, the doctor just kept yelling at me to keep pushing, even between contractions. later i learned that there was some question about the cord's location and i think the doctor wanted to get him out as soon as possible. luckily, i was up for the challenge.

at 11:49am on august 6th, 2007, our second little angel arrived. he was long and strong, healthy and cute as can be.
it's so hard to believe a year has gone by. it is the greatest and truest cliche that the time flies with the second child. i don't even feel like we blinked.
and now we have this silly, sweet and smiley boy. he loves his family, especially his sister, with unwavering strength. he also loves to blow on whistles and harmonicas!
he is funny! he loves to do something silly and then look at all of us for a reaction. this is especially the case at meal times, when he has our undivided attention. 

henny is more than we could have asked for. i am so proud of him and so joyful about his future. i can't believe that we are already here, at one year, but i also can't wait for what's to come.