feeling negative.

i have been putting of writing here because i feel like everything i have to say is not very nice. today i decided that i'm just going to put it down, and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. maybe i'll keep the camera by me more and take a picture of something that is wonderful, because there is much that is wonderful around me. i just haven't been able to shake a bit of a funk for the past week or so. i think it's a combination of things.

mainly, the new school schedule is bumming me out. i feel like i do nothing, get close to nothing accomplished and have very little fun. it's school, hen's nap, back to school, lunch, another nap, maybe one hour before dinner and then bed. day after day. no visiting friends, no outings, no freedom. 

that all combined with henny coming into a new phase in his life. he is no longer a baby who would pretty much go along with whatever. he wants to walk, climb and get into trouble. he wants to do everything but he has so sense about getting hurt. he falls and hurts himself all day. no matter how much i stay on top of him, it's inevitable. even when i try to catch him from falling i feel like he gets hurt from slamming down on my hand or something. i think i remember when bee was this age feeling similarly frustrated. henny is caught between being a baby and a toddler. it's an adjustment for us all and just so sad to be there for.

i am also feeling negative about my weight loss. i have lost a lot of weight in the last few months but it seems to be done coming off. that might not be so bad if i didn't feel like eating EVERYTHING. i am doing well controlling myself, but it's so hard. i feel like i want to eat all day, and not good things. 

finally D and i are leaving the kids overnight for this first time (since henny was born) coming up and i am so stressed about it. i know everything will be fine and even is it's not, it's not that long of a time and we can make it all better when we get home. i just can't stop thinking the worst (obviously not THE WORST, but all the things that would make it bad): henny cries because of a new separation anxiety he has, bee has bad/sassy behavior, kids won't sleep, babysitters don't follow "the rules"....

phew.

ok, now that i got that off my chest, the next thing i will post will be cute or yummy or inspiring. promise.