consolation

tonight bee came up to me and started peeking under my shirt as she rattled on about one thing or another. this new habit of her looking under my shirt is something that i am trying to be cool with, despite my natural awkwardness. i still have a lot of issues about my body and how it is changed now forever, after having two babies. i feel ok about it in my own head but when i think of how i look to the general population, i am horrified. i can look at the changes and see them as beautiful in their own way, i am just not convinced that anyone else will. and that is where my issues are, i guess.

anyhow, back to tonight. 

bee was chatting away and looking at my side, where the worst of the worst of my stretch marks reside. suddenly she stopped talking and announced, "this mark looks like an 'm', see."

yes, an "m". bee's first initial. of course that is the connection that bee made. she knows that she made the mark and of course it only makes sense that her initial is there. 

i know that in bee's eyes that is just the kind of magic that is so believable to a kid. i want to believe in that magic. it helps to make this body more livable, more lovable. i want to save this thought to share with bee someday. to thank her for helping me through my issues.